Making Mistakes: how to combat self-blame while also accepting responsibility

So you made a mistake. A big one. One that's keeping you up at night. How do we grow through 'failure'? Especially when thoughts like "I should have known better", "I obviously suck" and "what now"? are in the forefront of our minds.

Step 1. Breathe. It will be okay. Even if you don't believe it in that moment, remind yourself that you have been okay before and the discomfort of this moment will pass.

Step 2. Reframe the 'mistake'. Ask yourself, "what do I know now that I didn't know before the mistake?" Does it seem significant? Would I have made the mistake if I had that information beforehand?

If the answer is yes, forgive yourself! You're human and mistakes are part of the learning process of life. It would great if all of us learned from our first mistake but sometimes it takes a few times around to gain what you need to and for it to sink in and that is okay!

If the answer is no, forgive yourself for not knowing! Take that new information and honor your experience by deciding to learn from it for next time.

Step 3. Move forward armed with your new knowledge and experience. You now have access to a lesson that you didn't have previously. The old you is gone and the new you is wiser and more prepared for whatever life brings to you.